The Five Remembrances
I am of the nature to grow old.
There is no way to escape growing old.
I am of the nature to have ill health.
There is no way to escape ill health.
I am of the nature to die.
There is no way to escape death.
All that is dear to me and everyone I love
are the nature to change.
There is no way to escape
being separated from them.
My actions are my only true belongings.
I cannot escape the consequences of my actions.
My actions are the ground upon which I stand.
The Five Remembrances is my very favourite gattha. It might seem gloomy but in fact I find it very reassuring. I think for me the scariest thing is feeling like I might fail to prevent something (illness, etc.) or fail to do something important. This gattha tells me that I can't truly prevent them and so I am allowed to stop trying.
I'm really not explaining that well. Perhaps it makes better sense to say that they reassure me that all of these things are natural and not disasters to be prevented. So I can begin to accept them more. I can say that the first time I started reciting it to myself, when I was driving on a highway I didn't know and was feeling anxious, it calmed me right down. Well, not right down. But it helped. The thing I fear most in that situation is having a car crash and dying or suffering greatly. In that moment, allowing myself to accept that death is inevitable helped me let go of some of my fear in driving at that moment.
I decided when I was extremely young that since I couldn't know whether or not there was life after death there was no point in contemplating it further. It seemed like there were enough things to worry about that were more concrete. As time went on even that fell away. I just can't believe in heaven or hell or any sort of afterlife. And I'm actually fine with that.
For me, when I say goodbye to this life, and everyone and everything in it, that is final, which makes it all the more poignant. Being able even for a fraction of a moment to see my death in the context of all those other deaths, the small and vast deaths that are happening all around me every moment of the day, even the small and larger deaths that are happening inside my body every moment of the day, to see time unroll before me and after me, makes it less sad and more beautiful.
I do like the focus of taking care of yourself so that old age is as pleasant as possible. I don't manage to do all of the things I know would help me in that regard but I do keep it as a main focus, if not the main focus. Shifting more and more to that being the main focus as time goes on. Mama needs more rest!
For Sr Thuận Nghiêm's dharma talk on the Five Remembrances, click here.
Image: of Irish crane, back after 300 years of their absence on the island. From ireland.com
